Aim for the Head

ohmyloki:

flying-inca56:

“Tony no” a biography by Pepper Potts

Man I love her.

I made pies for my sisters Birthday.  Key Lime, Apple and Pumpkin.  

The Apple looked all good and normal from the top, but when I cut a piece the inside was, like, apple soup. I mean all the chunks of apple were there, as they should be, but the bottom of the pie pan is just an awful lot of liquid.  I don’t know how it happened or why….

At least it’s not as bad as the time I tried to make muffins and accidently used Pledge instead of Pam.

That wasn’t a great moment for me either.

Somewhere out there my mother is weeping.

I bought Bioshock Infinite yesterday afternoon,I got off work at 11 last night and then stayed up until 4AM to play it.  I have to go back to work again today.   It has been a long time since I have felt such an inadequate respect for tomorrow over a game.

Which is very Awesome.

Someone I know once looked up different types of dreamers and then proudly informed me I was an “epic-narrative-partially-lucid-dreamer.”  I think being able to label my uncommon dreaming made her feel better.

Anyway, one of the greatest dreams I ever had went like this;

So some ancient chinese philosopher managed to create a gateway capable of connecting to other worlds or dimensions, only he realized he would die before another world ever made such a connection so he built two (huge) stone/steel warriors to guard the gateway and protect it from any harm so that even after he died these other worlds would still be able to access ours.  

Flash forward to present day and another world has finally come across the gateway and is preparing to come through with intentions less than peaceful.  All the supernatural forces in the world realize that if it gets through it’s going to absolutely consume everything and they start calling the world “Second Hell.”

In the interest of continued existence all warring factions lay down arms against each other so they can fight this soon to be common enemy, only they have a problem.  The gateway was made by a man on Earth (Middle world) and they can’t exactly leave the lower and higher worlds to do anything without human hosts to act as conduits and let them through.  They need “sympathetic” spirits, people specifically suited to the role and somehow or another my sisters and I filled whatever requirements were needed.  

While they searched for the Gateway my sisters and I were each assigned two partners/body guards/liaisons to make things go smoother.  I don’t know about the others (we were separated to be safer) but my Upper and Lower world reps were a fallen angel named Prudence and Loki, the Norse god of trickery and mischief.  Prudence never said much,   I seem to recall Loki never stopped chatting but I don’t remember anything he said to me.  

Anyway, some filler happens that I don’t remember very well until they find the location of the Gateway which is half in and half out of the world.  

Basically it’s two huge sets of doors with a long hallway between them.  One door on Earth, the other in the Ether.  I don’t know.  

The stone warriors immediately approach us (we are all armed with staves and swords, Loki and Prudence and I have staves).  They tell us to leave.  We can see the open doorway on the other end of the hall and   know we’re almost out of time.  Once Second Hell starts coming through it’s all over, even combined our total strength was nowhere near enough to do anything more than mildly annoy it for a couple seconds.  We had to close that door before Second Hell took it off its hinges. 

The stone warriors casually informed us that they were there to protect the gateway and if we did anything to threaten the space we currently occupied they would wipe us from existence.  Most of the people, gods and supernatural beings gathered felt pretty good about our chances and were pretty gung-ho to attack the warriors.  Me, Loki and prudence (mostly me and prudence) talked them into giving us a minute to try to talk to them, explains things.  They agree and we turn to the warriors. 

I appeal to their entire reason of being.  Explain to them that if Second Hell, or any other world, is ever allowed to use the Gateway they would inevitably destroy it trying to cross over into our world.  As the Gateway Guardians it was their duty and obligation to prevent that from happening.  They HAD to close the doors and seal the Gateway away, it was the only way to protect it. 

I can’t help but feel the speech I gave was more impressive but that was the gist of it.  

The warriors agree in the end and tell me they’ll seal the doors, but that my people and I had to stop anything that tries to come through.  The doors are very large and very heavy and they will need some time to close them properly.  We agree, because what the hell else can we do?

As the warriors start walking (very slowly I might add) back to the open doorway the first of the things they mentioned started coming through it. Vanguards, I guess, scouts, slaves of Second Hell.  Some of them flew, but I never got a good look at those because my partners and I were pretty much all ground-based fighters.  The only thing I really remember was this faceless head, kinda egg shaped, with a mouth that stretched pretty much from where you expect a mouth to be all the way to the back of the head with row upon row of jagged teeth.  This head thing had a long skinny neck that ended on long, skinny shoulders which had really long (too long) spider like arms with too-long fingers that had too many joints and ended in claws.  That was it.  A mouth on a head, half a torso and arms.  There was nothing else.  These freaking nightmare fodder bastards ran on their hands, all out sprinting, hissing at us, they came way too fast too.  I hit the first one like a baseball (I do not know how to use a staff, a trait my dream self inherited) and screamed.  Prudence and Loki saved me from the next couple while I got my shit together and cowboyed up.  

I don’t really remember the rest of the fight.  There were other creatures that we fought, but I don’t remember those either.  I vaguely remember when the Warriors finally shut the damn Doorway and told us to leave so they could seal our Doorway too.

Then we were all back in the middle world, Earth.  Well, me and my two partners anyway, everyone else went home or something.  And Loki, looking pleased with himself, casually informed me that we (my sisters and I) had actually died fighting those creatures, during the second wave or something, and they had brought us back because my sisters and I did more then they had required of us and they owed us and supernatural beings really hate owing humans anything.  I thanked him, because I was alive and that was cool with me.  Then he grins wider and tells me that our lives were actually worth more than what they felt they owed so now we owed them.  

I remember getting a sinking feeling.  

He tells me that they’d already squared it away though, they wouldn’t need anything from us, but we would never be able to go home again (meaning my parents home).  That was the cost, that was the thing that would make us even.  

I got a little pissed with him then because that was fine for my sisters, they all had their own lives out in the world, but I currently lived with my parents and if I couldn’t go home where the hell was I supposed to go now?  He admits that this maybe tipped the balance a little so they threw in a bonus just for me.  After the battle everybody got heir minds wiped.  Nobody would ever remember what we’d done.  Except me.  They’d let me keep my memory of it to make up for the whole “sorry you’re homeless now but thanks for saving the world” thing.  

At this point Loki and Prudence both vanish leaving me alone in this field somewhere and I’m thinking, “great, I can never go home and if I ever tell anyone why I’m going to sound like a crazy person.”

I woke up not long after.

So I went to my very first Comicon this past weekend, I didn’t dress up but have decided that should I do it again next year I probably will.  

The most exciting moment for me was getting Felicia Day’s autograph!

The moment itself was very awkward as I should never be allowed to interact with people I admire without some kind of helper along to guide me through the choppy sea of social protocol.  

I can’t remember exactly what I said, as I was shaking a little and starting to panic, but I told her it was my first con and I was excited and;

“I don’t know what to do, because you’re a real person.”

She was super nice and personable and reached out to pat my arm reassuringly I think, but being a little panicky I kind of jumped away on instinct and shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot, told her she was one of my heroes and ran away. 

My only saving grace is that she’ll never remember it.  The amount of autographs she signed and people she met that day guarantee it.  

I’ve determined that next time I have the opportunity to get her autograph I will pre-prepare some very calm and cool comments to say to her that won’t leave me kicking myself afterwards.  

As a side note I bought a super-shiny turtle ring I’ve since named Jimmy.